I feel like to keep my sanity, I’ve always required 50% alone time and 50% social life. But, now that I find myself as a mother and wife my time is split a little more like 80% Family 10% Work 8% Me 2% Friends. If you asked me what I thought a healthy balance looked like before I had children it would have been a lot heavier on Friends and Quiet time.
I am 100% sure that it is possible to be a loving, present, effective mother without letting the job completely consume you. I know There has to be a way to alter your identity without completely losing it (My mom seems to be great at this). One of my greatest fears in life is to find my children grown and gone and realize that I have no idea who I am or who my friends are outside of them.
I recently started working again. So that leaves me about two days alone with my son, one spent as an entire family and practically no time to just sit and be Brittany. Or go out and be a friend. OR even communicate… I have emails from my best friends that have gone an entire month unanswered. No sooner do I pick up my phone to read a text from someone, than I am distracted by my son trying to dig in the trash can or lovingly begging “up” with his hands held out toward me.
If you’re smart I am sure you’re thinking… “Hey, she has time to write this blog.” But, this is the perfect compromise of alone reflection with just a touch of social life to it. (And yes, I will take the next five minutes after I’m done here to respond to those emails.) What I mean to accomplish with this post, is not to complain. Because this is a very good problem to have; Balancing so many loved ones with gainful employment and the luxury of quiet time. But I suppose this is me publicly raising a temporary white flag in the air. I may be a worse friend than usual until i master the balancing act. And I am truly sorry for that.
How does the balance work for you lovely ladies? Did it get better over time? Were you forced to give up for a while or all together? Or does it just take practice?